25th of December (Christmas)

My mum bought me Calvin's gay hat for Christmas. Deary me.

17th of December (Thursday)

Calvin Dyson has been named #3 in this list of 10 men I'd most-likely fancy if I were gay.

Check it.

16th of December (Wednesday)

Calvin has a new catch-phrase. It's not "Really?!" any more.

He hasn't actually said it in his life (well, he hadn't until I blackmailed him into saying it earlier) but it sounds exactly like something he would say. I intend to keep doing impressions of Calvin saying it (cutting him off and saying it before he has a chance to respond to things, etc) and spread it around so much that people actually begin to think Calvin says it all the time. Or even better, so much that Calvin starts to actually say it.

It's "Are you barking mad?!"








The following statement may or may not be true:
Earlier on I told Calvin that Timothy Dalton was the best Bond.
He replied "Are you barking mad?!"

15th of December (Tuesday)

Calvin is a strange person.

I played him the fantastic Unintended by Muse the other day. He asked what it was because he liked it and wanted to download it for his own.
He remembered that it was by Muse but forgot the name of the song so I told him it was Stockholm Syndrome; a very 'heavy' rock song also by Muse. Calvin has since favourited Stockholm Syndrome on YouTube and seems oblivious to the fact that they're completely different songs.

For anyone unfamiliar with how they sound, here's Unintended:


And here's Stockholm Syndrome:





Update (comments on Facebook's YouTube feed re him favouriting Stockholm Syndrome):
Sol Máquina
Well it would appear my hilarious joke backfired, hey hey hey.

Calvin Dyson
You made a joke?

Sol Máquina
Did you actually listen to this song before favouriting it?

Calvin Dyson
Yeah...

Sol Máquina
...

Calvin Dyson
Oh right is it not the song from the other day or something? I just heard this and liked it so assumed it must be it.

6th of December (Sunday)

Calvin's new potential fancy-man is 6 inches or so shorter than Calvin. Instead of saying 6 inches, Calvin said "He's about half a Subway shorter than me". Oh Calvin.


Also, I just raped Calvin. He remarked "I wish I was stronger".

3rd of December (Thursday)

Calvin's Facebook fan-page launched today. Join it, you know you want to.

Here's a link.

2nd of December (Wednesday)

Genuine Calvin quote:

"You can't beat a real napkin."

1st of December (Tuesday)

Today brought unto us a shocking revelation:

Calvin Michael Dyson was raped.


Calvin told us about how he brought a guy back one night and said guy started 'going at it'. Calvin said "Actually, could you stop that, please?" and the guy didn't stop. Calvin was raped.
He's trying to act like that's not real rape, but it is; it's the worst kind of rape: bum-rape.